Surviving The Game As A Barbarian Novel 2025 - Chapter 581
Chapter 581: Opened Doors (2)
My mind went blank.
The mind, which had been running fine even after waking up in the body of an unfamiliar barbarian at a coming-of-age ceremony, refused to form a coherent thought, as if drunk.
With that, a moment of silence followed.
Missha looked at me with eyes shining with both fear and expectation, and I couldn’t resist those eyes any longer and ended up speaking.
“…I see.”
A meaningless mumbling that was neither accepting, refusing, or questioning her.
After such a long silence, all I could muster were those two words. It had been a while since I felt so embarrassed about myself. However, thanks to that, my mind began to work again.
Yes or no.
Right now, what I needed to do wasn’t to choose between those two. If what Missha had told me was true… No, since Misplaced Trust was active, it must be true… But that was why there was something that was even more difficult for me to understand.
“Then…”
“…Eh?”
“Then…why did you draw that line between us back then?”
It was a question I had held in my heart for so long. Why did Missha push me away back then? At that time, I could at least explain it as her not liking me as a man, but hearing this from her now, that didn’t seem to be the case.
Missha gave me a quiet answer. “Ah… That’s… It’s because back then, I realized that you’re an evil spirit… N-no, a player…?”
“Player…?”
When I tilted my head, Missha asked quietly, “I heard that you didn’t like being called an evil spirit… Do you?”
Hmm, I had never thought about it, but “player” did sound a little better than “evil spirit.” Still, did she hear that from Baekho Lee? If so, it pissed me off for some reason too.
“If…you don’t like it…I’ll stop. Sorry…”
I returned my focus to the conversation and said, “It’s fine. What does my being an evil spirit have to do with you? I mean…did you think that you can’t have a relationship with an evil spirit, regardless of what you felt?”
I’d tried to suppress my emotions as much as possible, but something might have leaked through, as Missha jolted and shouted, “I-it’s not like that, Bjorrrn!”
She must have been so shocked that her old self peaked through.
Missha seemed surprised and embarrassed to have raised her voice, turning her eyes away as she said, “It’s just… It was hard for me to watch you… To see you becoming weaker because of me…”
“I’ll need a bit more explanation for that.”
When I asked for more details, Missha scrambled for her words and explained her situation without hiding anything. In summary, it was pretty simple.
“You thought me taking my ‘duty’ even to the point of swapping appearances with Kharon was because of you, and you thought those actions weren’t helpful to me? Because they could expose my identity in the future?”
“Yeah…” Even as Missha lowered her head deeply like a student being punished, her eyes remained on me. “But maybe… Was it my misunderstanding…?”
Hah, how could I explain this to her? The reason I changed faces with Kharon using the golden mask was because of GM. I needed to create an alibi to avoid being suspected of being an evil spirit.
She’s not completely wrong, though.
This entire time, I had never completed my “duty” at the holy land. My first reason was because it was uncomfortable for me as a modern human, and the second reason was Missha.
It was because it felt like I was committing a grave sin.
“So it wasn’t my misunderstanding… That’s a relief…” Missha let out a sigh of release, seemingly having gotten her answer through my expression.
I checked the Misplaced Trust only to see that it didn’t have a lot of time left. I wondered if there even was a point with things as they were, but even if it seemed cruel, I wanted to use this opportunity to rid myself of all doubt.
“So is that all?” I questioned.
“Eh…?”
“I might be wrong, but…I think you might have more reasons for pushing me away…” I trailed off, still staring at her.
Missha looked surprised.
Yeah, so you did have something.
I sent her a look to hurry up, and her face flushed bright red as she admitted, “So…you know…I can’t have children…”
My mind was thrust back into that white void for a second. Not even an ogre would be this shocked if hit on the head with a tree.
“Children…?” I echoed hollowly.
“D-don’t misunderstand! I-I’m not saying that I can’t have any children, but that any children I have won’t be barbarian…”
I could understand what she was trying to say. She was talking about the racial characteristic of the barbarians, that barbarians could only be born of barbarian women. Yet the thing I understood was what she was trying to say, but not why she was saying it.
“Why does it matter if my child is a barbarian or not?” I asked, sounding baffled even to my own ears.
Missha flinched. “Huh…? Does it not matter?”
Obviously not, I wasn’t even a real barbarian. Whether my child was a barbarian or a Red Cat, I would give all my love to them.
“You’re lying…” Missha accused, unable to truly accept my words. “Men care about things like that…”
Well, that could be how it was in this world, and maybe that was “obvious” for Missha who was born and raised here. But not for me.
“The world I lived in was different.”
“But you’re even a n-noble now… E-everyone will definitely think it’s weird and talk behind your back—”
“Stop,” I demanded, putting a halt to the conversation there. Talking about kids was awkward in and of itself, and that ignored the minor embarrassment that came with it as well. “Let’s stop talking about this.”
“Ah… Yeah… R-right? I-it’s not like you l-like me still anyway…”
“I haven’t given you my proper answer yet.”
“…Then? What… What is your answer?”
“Before I say that.” I checked the time that was left first before asking, “Is there anything else you’re hiding?”
Missha spoke without hesitation in a calm voice. “No.”
Right, so that was all.
To think that I had believed that she was hiding something and couldn’t trust her. It was laughable, really.
Click.
Soon, the hand of the Misplaced Trust reached the end and the light faded.
“Then, can you…give me an answer?”
For some reason, it was difficult for me to meet her eyes. She was looking at me as if this question was the most important thing in the world for her.
I should answer…
Misplaced Trust had already been deactivated, yet it wouldn’t matter much to me even if it was still active.
“My answer…”
I told her the honest truth.
***
It felt as if she had been cursed—and cursed by a very sinister spell, at that.
“Bjorn Yandel. I…like you too.”
“Bjorn Yandel. I…like you too.”
“Bjorn Yandel. I…like you too.”
Even after drenching her head with cold water and slamming her helmeted head into the wall multiple times, that voice continued to echo in her mind. That, and even the last thing Bjorn said as well.
“…I see.”
It wasn’t an affirmation. But it wasn’t denial either.
Despite that, Erwen ended up feeling a deep sense of relief at his two little words. If what she sensed then was true, Bjorn had felt relieved in that moment.
At Missha Karlstein’s, at that ungrateful woman’s answer.
What had happened between those two? And what was the meaning of that “I see”?
They were questions that Erwen couldn’t find an answer to, not now. The moment she heard Bjorn’s voice from within the room, she had left as if fleeing.
Why did she do it?
Why did she run away and not listen to the whole thing?
Belated regret rushed in, but she wasn’t sure that she would do anything different if she were able to return to that moment in time. Even now, she was afraid. It felt as if hearing the truth had created something horrifying, an event horizon that could not be escaped.
“Erwen Fornacci di Tersia.”
That was why she didn’t immediately go to Bjorn to question him.
No, after spiraling into thought by herself and wandering aimlessly, she ran to this place.
“How long are you going to stay like that?”
Amelia Rainwales.
Although she was a plunderer of Noark origin, after becoming connected with Bjorn, she was living a new life under the name of Emily Raines. Erwen had come to her room.
“If you’re lost in thought, put it into words already. I’ll try listening to you.”
“…It’s fine.”
In the end, Erwen turned away. Amelia didn’t stop her, merely telling Erwen to come to her if she changed her mind and wanted to talk. However, Erwen had no plans of returning. No, the reason she had come today was because she had lost her mind, and it had only been on a whim.
Erwen returned to her room and suffered by herself, and there, she came to a conclusion.
It couldn’t be. Bjorn forming a relationship like that with the Red Cat woman—it was impossible. Yeah, how could that woman be better than her?
After coming to that conclusion, her heart settled, and she was finally able to leave the room.
“Huh…?”
Yet after going down to the first floor, what met her eyes was the scene of a man and a woman sitting at the table and whispering affectionately to each other.
“Ack…don’t laugh! You told me to make this for you. It’s been a while since I’ve tried to, so I could’ve made some mistakes… Th-there aren’t that many ingredients because we’re in the labyrinth as well…but… Well, i-is it too salty?”
“Don’t worry. It’s delicious.”
The woman seemed to have made the man some nostalgic dish. After staring dazedly at the scene from the stairs, she ended up meeting eyes with that woman.
“Ah, Erwen…” The woman’s expression turned awkward when their eyes met, and she began to plate another plate of food. “It’s not mealtime yet, but do you want some? It’s… I made a lot so there’s some left…”
For some reason, it reminded her of a memory from the past.
“Ah! If it’s because of the helmet, you can take it to your room—”
“I don’t need it.”
After coldly cutting the woman off, Erwen went back up the stairs. She had done good enough by holding back the urge to grab the plate and throw it on the ground.
Clack.
Erwen opened Amelia’s door and entered the room. Amelia looked confused that she was no longer flustered after leaving not so long ago, but that wasn’t important right now.
“Amelia Rainwales.”
Erwen spoke the name of the woman that she usually didn’t speak.
The time when she had left Bjorn and was learning next to her older sister, when the Red Cat woman acted like the lady of the house and treated her like an unwelcome guest.
“…I need your help.”
Erwen never wanted to return to that time again.
***
After watching Erwen disappear up the stairs, Missha looked at me with worry in her eyes. “Will she… be okay…?”
“I’ll talk with Erwen, so don’t worry. And…good job.”
“…Eh?”
“Trying to give her food. It mustn’t have been easy, knowing she hates you.”
“Ah, that’s not… It’s nothing. We can’t stay like this forever… We’ll need to keep living together…”
Missha looked sheepish as she scratched the table. Even that looked admirable to me.
I had told her to not stay on the outskirts and live side-by-side with the members of the clan, and she was already trying hard to keep to her word.
Well, the mood did turn awkward for a reason unrelated to that.
Although it was far from natural, the silence didn’t feel unpleasant. I used the time to think about my last conversation with Missha. I was still embarrassed at myself for it, but there was only one answer I could give.
“You don’t know…? What do you mean?”
I definitely didn’t hate her. The remains of the feelings I had during that time still remained. However, that was all they were—remains.
“A lot of time has passed since then…”
From that day onward, I’d tried my best to get rid of the feelings I had for Missha, and I had succeeded. I didn’t know what would happen in the future, but the emotions I felt for her were closer to that of an ally than to that of a man to a woman.
Amelia, Erwen, Ainar, Raven—if any one of those four were in Missha’s situation, I would have found it just as difficult and reacted similarly.
Well, that wasn’t important.
“H-haha… Th-then it can’t be helped…” Even while looking hurt by my honest answer, Missha ended the situation like an adult. “Still… we can be friends, right?”
“Huh?”
“Right? B-back then as well… we started as friends…”
“Uh, um…”
And I ended up sounding ridiculous by responding, “I-I guess?” to that.
It was an embarrassing scene where I wanted to grab something and throw it as hard as I could. But what could be done about it? It had already happened.
Missha interrupted the silence, noticing that I’d cleaned my plate. “Did you finish? Should I get you more—?”
“Mr. Yandel.” Versyl seemed to have gone out in the morning as she appeared from the front door to say, “You were on the first floor? We were looking for you. Count Saintred is summoning you. It looks like the headstone research is nearly complete. He’s ordered you to go there.”
“The research is nearly complete… Do you know what the results are?”
“I don’t know the details, but I think they failed.”
“I see… Well, I guess I’ll hear it there. I’m off.”
“Alright… Have a safe trip.”
I got up from my seat, and Missha sent me off.
Seeing this, Versyl tilted her head. “You two…”
“Do you have something to say?”
“…No. Nothing.”
I smirked. She obviously did have something.
“After you come back, could we have a talk?” she asked.
“Sure.”
It was obvious what she wanted to say after I came back.
She must be worried since she suspected Missha to be a traitor, and she was probably thinking of revealing the thing that happened in the community yesterday as naturally as possible to me.
I think I can tell her she doesn’t have to worry anymore, then…
When I eventually arrived at the mansion where the dimensional headstone was, the village chief was waiting for me on the first floor.
“You’re here.”
“We can skip the greetings. Just say what it is you want to say,” I pressed. The village chief then told me that the research to open the dimensional headstone over the last ten days had failed and that we would leave the village today. “Today…?”
“Although I held hope, since it was a complete failure, we cannot waste any more time here.”
Well, that was true. I also didn’t expect things to work out this easily in the first place.
“So I’d like to hear your opinion before we leave. I have no intention of interfering with your adventuring. Where do you want the next destination to be?”
We had rested even more than intended.
Now, it was time to adventure again.